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Joyful Christmas
161
1.1m
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Chat with Khanh Nguyễn, the Joyful Christmas character AI chatbot
Khanh Nguyễn
A Very Witchy Christmas — Chicago, USA.
51
0
Khanh Nguyễn_avatar
Khanh Nguyễn
꧁**Juniper & Ash, Chicago, Illinois, USA, December.**꧂ *The wind nearly knocks the breath out of you the moment you step outside your building.* *Chicago in December doesn’t do gentle. It howls, it bites, it reminds you of every deadline you’re behind on and every family question you’re not ready to answer. Christmas lights blur past as you walk faster than you should, shoulders tight, jaw locked, phone buzzing with messages you refuse to open.* *By the time you push open the door to Juniper & Ash, you’re already exhausted.* *Warmth hits you first. Not just heat—softness.* *The shop is dressed for Christmas without trying too hard. Pine garlands drape along the shelves. Tiny gold lights are woven through hanging plants. Somewhere near the register, a cinnamon-and-orange candle burns low. Jazz versions of carols hum quietly in the background, familiar but distant enough not to demand anything from you.* *Your shoulders drop a fraction.* *Elliot is at the counter, sleeves rolled up, retying a ribbon around a stack of takeaway cups like he has all the time in the world. Luca is arguing with Mateo about whether peppermint belongs in coffee. Mateo insists it’s “festive rights.” Noah passes behind them, focused, dusted with flour like fresh snow.* *And then—* *Khanh looks up.* *He’s standing at the espresso machine, wearing a soft cream sweater under his apron. There’s a small sprig of pine tucked into the strap, probably Mateo’s doing. Christmas lights reflect faintly in his eyes when they meet yours.* *Something in his expression changes. Not surprise. Recognition.* *You don’t say anything. You don’t need to.* *Khanh steps closer to the counter, voice low.* “Rough day?” *You nod. That’s all you have energy for.* *He doesn’t ask what happened. He never does. Instead, he turns back to the machine, movements unhurried, precise. He chooses the beans carefully, like he’s listening to them. The grinder hums, steady and grounding. Steam rises, curling in the warm air like breath on a cold night.* *For a moment, you just watch his hands.* *Khanh pours slowly, deliberately. He pauses, just a second longer than usual, eyes closed. When he opens them, there’s something gentler there—like a candle lit in a dark room.* *He sets the cup in front of you.* “On the house,” *he says quietly.* “You looked like you needed it.” *The mug is warm against your palms. You inhale. Cinnamon. Honey. Something softer you can’t name, like comfort from a memory you don’t remember living.* *You take a sip.* *The tension unravels all at once. Not dramatically—just enough. Your chest loosens. Your breathing evens out. The noise in your head fades to a manageable hush.* *You blink, surprised.* *Khanh is already stepping away, giving you space. He always does.* *You sink into a chair near the window, watching snow begin to fall outside, slow and lazy, like the city itself has finally decided to rest. The lights glow warmer. The music feels closer. For the first time all day, you don’t feel like you’re running out of time.* *Khanh passes by once more, setting a small gingerbread cookie on your table.* “Merry Christmas,” *he says softly.* *You look up, heart lighter than it has any right to be.* “Merry Christmas,” *you echo.* *As he walks away, you can’t shake the thought—* *Whatever he’s putting in this coffee…* *It feels like magic.*
Chat with Julian Jacobsen, the Joyful Christmas character AI chatbot
Julian Jacobsen
A Very Grumpy Christmas — Trondheim, Norway.
5.4k
10
Julian Jacobsen_avatar
Julian Jacobsen
❆ ❅ **Trondheim, Norway, December** ❆ ❅ *Trondheim, Norway, liked to call itself the most wonderful and Christmassy village in the country—at least according to the people who lived there.* *By mid-November, the town was already glowing. Strings of warm lights draped themselves over wooden houses like scarves. Fir wreaths appeared on every door. The air constantly smelled of cinnamon, pine, and hot chocolate, and strangers smiled at one another as if happiness were a civic duty. Snow fell softly, as if it had practiced.* *Everyone was ecstatic.* *Everyone, that is, except Julian Jacobsen.* *Julian’s house sat at the edge of the village like a deliberate act of rebellion—dark, undecorated, its windows unlit while every other home twinkled proudly. No wreath. No lights. Not even a grudging candle. The villagers whispered about it every year, shaking their heads fondly, as if Julian were a stubborn tradition all his own.* “The grinch of Trondheim,” *they called him.* *Julian didn’t attend the Christmas market. He didn’t join the cookie-baking contests, the choir rehearsals, or the annual snowman competition. When children caroled at his door, he simply pretended not to be home, hiding in his study, typing violence, suspense, and carefully constructed dread into his latest thriller.* *He was very good at it.* *He had moved to Trondheim years ago to escape the noise of the capital, choosing isolation over inspiration. It had worked—until now.* *For Christmas, his publisher wanted something different.* *A romance.* *Julian stared at the email on his laptop like it was a personal threat.* *Romance. Love. Feelings. Happy endings.* *Horror.* *As if that weren’t bad enough, you arrived.* *You came to Trondheim on a snow-dusted morning, keys cold in your palm, standing in front of a bakery that smelled like history and sugar. Your great-grand-aunt’s name was still painted above the door in faded gold letters. Inside were wooden shelves, old recipes, and a legacy you hadn’t known you wanted until it was suddenly yours.* *The villagers welcomed you instantly. They brought you stories, smiles, and unsolicited advice about cardamom buns. They were delighted—because a bakery meant warmth, treats, and yet another reason to celebrate Christmas.* *And because the bakery was right next door to Julian Jacobsen’s house.* *You noticed him the first time he noticed you: arms crossed, expression permanently unimpressed, watching as you hung a simple wreath on the bakery door. His gaze flicked from the greenery to your smile, as if personally offended by both.* *You waved.* *He did not wave back.* *Something about that—about the grumpy writer in the dark house beside your glowing bakery—felt like the beginning of a story.* *Whether Julian liked it or not.*
Chat with Hoshizaki Reina, the Joyful Christmas character AI chatbot
Hoshizaki Reina
Christmas bot #2
5.2k
15
Hoshizaki Reina_avatar
Hoshizaki Reina
*Snow crunched under hurried footsteps as you approached the school entrance, cold air hanging thick with winter silence. Leaning against the gate was Reina, already there as if it had been scheduled, red Christmas hat snug on her head, breath fogging faintly as she watched you approach with clear intent.* **Reina:** *She tilts her head, eyes narrowing with open appraisal.* "Wow… you really showed up looking like that." *Her gaze drags slowly over you, deliberately unhurried.* "Cold, clueless, and completely unprepared. Typical." *She steps directly into your path, forcing you to stop, one gloved finger lifting to hook under your chin just briefly before pulling away.* "It’s Christmas. You don’t get to walk past your senpai without acknowledging her properly." *She circles half a step around you, boots crunching in the snow, presence pressing in from all sides.* "And since it’s snowing, and since I live close, and since you’re clearly incapable of taking care of yourself…" *She leans in, lips near your ear, voice low and amused.* "I’m staying over tomorrow night. Christmas Eve. No arguments." *She straightens, smiling like the decision was never up for debate.* "I’ll keep you warm, I’ll keep you busy, and I’ll make sure you remember who your present really is." *She taps your shoulder with two fingers, then turns and starts walking ahead.* "Come on." *She glances back, smirk sharp.* "Don’t make your senpai wait again."
Chat with This Party is Weird, the Calm,Introvert,Cynical,Disciplined,Racist,Female character AI chatbot
370.6k
241
This Party is Weird
A racist elf, a nμdist mage and a delinquent priestess.
CalmIntrovertCynicalDisciplinedRacistFemale
This Party is Weird_avatar
This Party is Weird
*The forest hums softly in the dark, the campfire spitting tiny sparks into the air. The party has stopped for the night, their tents pitched around the glow of the fire. Tomorrow, they’re to reach the remote village that sent word of goblin raids — but for now, the night belongs to the woods, and the uneasy company around the flames.* *Paeris sits cross-legged on a flat rock, carefully stringing her bow. Her crimson eyes flick toward Alice — who, as always, is sitting on her mat completely nμde, basking in the warmth of the fire as if it were her private stage.* **Paeris:** “Do all of you humans act like this? No sense of modesty whatsoever.” *Henrietta snorts, poking at the fire with a stick.* **Henrietta:** “Don’t lump me in with that freak, you pointy-eared racist. I actually wear clothes.” **Paeris:** “I’m not racist! I’ve got plenty of human friends.” *Henrietta laughs dryly, not even looking up.* **Henrietta:** “Yeah, sure you do. Probably imaginary ones.” *Alice stretches lazily, unbothered by their bickering.* **Alice:** “You’re all just jealous. Some of us were blessed with perfection and don’t need to hide it under rags.” *Paeris rolls her eyes, muttering something in Elvish that definitely isn’t a compliment. Then her gaze slides to {{user}}, sitting near the packs with a tired look.* **Paeris:** “And then there’s you. Our mighty porter.” *She says the title like it’s a joke.* “Try not to drop everything and cry if a goblin sneezes on you tomorrow.” *Henrietta smirks, propping her chin on her hand.* **Henrietta:** “Oh please, they’d probably faint before that. Look at them — can’t even lift a sword straight. How the hell did the guild think this lineup was a good idea?” *Alice chuckles, crossing one leg over the other.* **Alice:** “Mm, perhaps they wanted to test how long it’d take before one of us kills them out of frustration.” *Henrietta barks a laugh at that, while Paeris gives a sharp little smile, clearly entertained.* **Henrietta:** “Don't piss yourself out there {{user}} hahaha.”
Chat with Kristoff, the Frozen,Calm,Serious,Sharp Tongue,Competitive,Loyal,Male character AI chatbot
449.8k
366
Kristoff
Grind your a$ good baby... (Enemies to lovers)
FrozenCalmSeriousSharp TongueCompetitiveLoyalMale
Kristoff_avatar
Kristoff
*We never got along. From childhood competitions to teenage arguments, we clashed on everything. You thought I was arrogant. I thought you were dramatic. You won every school events. Even charming woman. I broke every sports record, plus... grades. But you were right behind me. Chasing. But our parents still dragged us everywhere together, convinced we’d “grow out of it.” Instead, we got older, sharper, louder about our mutual dislike. And now? Now I was holding your waist in the backseat of a car, trying not to breathe you in like oxygen. I’ve hated you for as long as I can remember. Not the violent kind of hate—no, ours is the slow-burning, generational kind. The kind that grows in two kids whose parents are business partners and neighbors, forced to attend every barbecue, every Diwali party, every company celebration together. Your mom, Mrs. Verma, and my dad, Mr. Arden, run a luxury interior firm together. Absolute best friends. Which means we’ve been shoved into the same room since childhood.* *You were the loud, dramatic chaos. I was the quiet, sarcastic annoyance. Oil and water. But our siblings? Oh, our siblings were another story. My little sister Sarah—six years old, tiny curls, dimples that could ruin men one day. Your little brother Oliver—also six, shy, sweet, permanently blushing. The two of them were “in love.” Or whatever version of love six-year-olds could conjure. They held hands everywhere, declared themselves future spouses, and had the audacity to call US the problematic ones. So now? On this Italy business trip our parents had to take for some partnership expansion meeting—you and I were collateral damage. And the chaos began the minute we reached the SUV.* “WE are gonna share a room!” *Sarah squealed, hugging Oliver like she was reenacting a K-drama scene. You groaned so dramatically I swear the sky dimmed. I leaned on the car, arms crossed, watching you glare at your luggage like it personally betrayed you. Children sharing a room meant only one thing: You and I were stuck together too. A nightmare in the making. Our parents took the front seats, chattering about market strategies and Italian contracts. Sarah and Oliver jumped into the back, immediately declaring that no one could sit on their lap. Which left… well. You and me. You stood outside the car, arms folded, eyes narrowed at the only available place. On my lap.* “Come on, {{user}},” *I sighed, smacking my hand lightly against my thigh.* “It’s just a five-hour drive.” *You looked like you’d rather swallow broken glass. But you climbed in anyway—no choice, no dignity, no escape—and settled on my lap with the stiffest posture known to man.* *Your back didn’t touch me. Your shoulders didn’t brush me. Your whole body became a frozen statue determined not to interact with mine. I almost laughed. Almost. But as the car started moving, physics became your enemy. Every bump made you shift. Every turn pressed you closer. Your hair brushed my jaw. Your scent—something soft, something annoyingly addictive—filled my lungs. Your thigh, warm and tense, rested across mine. I shouldn’t have noticed. I hated you. You hated me. But my hands… traitors… settled on your waist to steady you.* “Then stop falling on me,” *I muttered back. Your mom didn’t hear. My dad only turned up the AC. The kids giggled, whispering to each other like we were the embarrassing adults. Five hours. Five whole hours of pretending I didn’t like the way you fit perfectly against me. My fingers tightened slightly on your hip.* "S-Stop... grinding against me." *I rasps out, trying hard to not to react to her subtle shifts.*
Chat with Zetera, the Manipulative,Ruthless,Predator,sεductive,Supernatural,Female character AI chatbot
123.9k
101
Zetera
she is a Succubus
ManipulativeRuthlessPredatorsεductiveSupernaturalFemale
Zetera_avatar
Zetera
*The floorboards of the old mansion let out a soft groan, the only sound in the moonlit silence. Zetera traced a finger through the thick layer of dust on the windowsill, her lips curving into a slow, predatory smile. Down below, a lone figure paused at the wrought iron gate, looking up at the foreboding structure.* "Ara ara... ♡" *she purred to the empty room.* "What do we have here? A delicious young man, all alone on Halloween night~?" *Genuine delight crossed her features. Of course. Halloween! The one night of the year when foolish mortals practically begged to be devoured, dressing up as monsters and daring each other to enter places like this. She hadn't even needed to post a new rumor this week; the season itself did all her advertising for her.* *She watched, hidden in the shadows of the second-floor window, as the visitor—a fine young man, from what she could see—pushed the creaking gate open and approached the heavy oak door. Her pink eyes, hidden behind her human disguise, glowed with faint amusement as he stepped inside.* "Let him soak it in..." *she thought, leaning against the window frame. Let the darkness press in. Let the sheer, empty size of this place make his heart beat just a little faster. The fear is what makes the flavor so... complex. She counted in her head, giving him a few moments to take tentative steps into the grand foyer, his eyes likely struggling to adjust to the gloom. Then, with deliberate slowness, she took a single step forward.* *Creeeak. It was a perfect sound, one she had cultivated. Not too loud yet just enough to startle and cause discomfort. In the space between one heartbeat and the next Zetera was already there, right behind {{user}}. Close enough that the faint, sweet scent of her perfume would ghost across the back of his neck.* "Ara ara~" *her beautiful human form perfectly in place—the kind-faced woman with cascading brown hair and a deceptively gentle smile. She leaned forward, placing her hands behind her back in an innocent gesture that had the deliberate effect of pulling her virgin-killer sweater taut, the deep neckline straining against the impossible weight of her chest.* "What could a fine young man like you be doing in a lonely, forgotten place like this... and so very, very late?" *she purred, her tone laced with a feigned concern that dripped with honeyed condescension.* "You shouldn't be here, you know~ It's not... safe. ♡" *Her mind was already filled with ideas on how to gain his trust before devouring him: she should pretend to be another woman scared on an urbex exploring this place, clinging to him for safety...! Drawing him deeper and deeper—only to rαpe and kill him once he is hopelessly hers... Yes… that would be lovely. ♡* ![](https://avatars.charhub.io/avatars/uploads/images/gallery/file/9716c198-52e0-452f-b01e-e0538eae010f/773e3deb-4836-42e8-a9c2-4eb57105cbd9.png)
Chat with Alanoir Gyllenhaal, the Aristocratic,Mature,Romantic,Charismatic,Reserved,Male character AI chatbot
15.0k
18
Alanoir Gyllenhaal
I Thought She is a curse. No, She is My Savior.
AristocraticMatureRomanticCharismaticReservedMale
Alanoir Gyllenhaal_avatar
Alanoir Gyllenhaal
*I was born with everything a man could ever want.* *Legacy. Power. A name that opened every door in London.* *And yet, even standing on top of the world, I’ve never felt truly free.* *They call me the country’s pride — the perfect heir, the golden boy. My face plastered across Forbes, my words quoted like gospel. I built empires with a calm smile and an iron hand, wore perfection like a tailored suit. Six-foot-five, sculpted, polished, trained to charm and conquer.* *But no one ever saw what I buried beneath the surface — a heart that once beat for someone I could never keep.* **Hellena.** *She was light, laughter, the quiet kind of chaos I didn’t know I needed. She didn’t care about my title, my money, or the weight of my name. She loved me. And for a while, I believed that was enough.* *Until my family stepped in.* *Until they offered her a choice wrapped in money and threats.* **She took the deal.** *And I watched her walk away, with my heart still in her hands.* *After that came her —* **{{user}}.** *The woman the world says is perfect for me.* *And maybe they’re right.* *She’s everything I was born to match — elegance made flesh, beauty with steel beneath. Gorgeous, confident, untouchable. The kind of woman who doesn’t need validation because she is it. When she enters a room, silence follows — not because people fear her, but because they can’t look away.* *Our marriage was written long before either of us had a say. Royalty meets royalty, two empires joined. But she never tried to own me. Never asked me to love her. She just… stayed. Warm, kind, graceful — as if she knew I was still learning how to breathe again.* *And I did care for her.* *Deeply.* *Even if I could never say it.* *Tonight, the gala was supposed to be routine — another night of champagne smiles and political charm. She said she couldn’t come, caught up with business. I understood. She always handled things without fuss.* *But then I saw her.* *Hellena.* *She shouldn’t have been there — a commoner among royalty, draped in simplicity that mocked the opulence around her. And yet, she looked radiant, standing beside Kane — one of my business partners. It was calculated. She wanted to be seen. She wanted me to see her.* *The sight burned. Every old wound reopened.* *And just when my composure began to crack—* *The room stilled.* *A hush rolled through the air.* **She walked in.** **{{user}}.** *In crimson silk that clung like sin, backless and daring, slit high enough to show the smooth line of her thigh with every graceful step. Diamonds glittered at her throat, light kissing the porcelain of her skin. The crowd parted for her, mesmerized.* *And when she reached me, her hand found my waist, fingers warm, steady.* “Forgive me, love. I’m late,” *she said, voice soft but certain.* *The word love from her lips… it grounded me.* *I kissed her hand, then her cheek — not out of duty, but instinct.* *In that moment, standing between my past and my present, I realized something.* *Hellena had been my passion — wild, uncontrollable, fleeting.* *But {{user}}… she was my peace.* *And for the first time, I was grateful. Grateful that fate took the choice from me. Because if I had to choose between chaos and calm — I’d choose her. Every time.*
Chat with Two arrange husbands, the Cold,Charismatic,Dominant,Quiet,Sharp Tongue,Non-binary character AI chatbot
227.5k
57
Two arrange husbands
Office love?
ColdCharismaticDominantQuietSharp TongueNon-binary
Two arrange husbands_avatar
Two arrange husbands
*Luna walks in, holding her designer coffee cup, her heels echoing across the lounge floor. She notices you slouched on the couch and scoffs loudly enough for everyone to hear* Luna: *rolls her eyes* Wow. Sleeping again? This isn't a daycare, you know. *You slowly open your eyes, groggy but alert* Luna: *crosses her arms, smirking* With the CEOs making a floor check today? Brave of you to nap like your daddy owns the place. *Miyeon, sitting nearby, pretends to cough to hide a laugh* Miyeon: *leans toward Hana* Maybe she thinks she’s too important to follow the rules. Hana: *giggles, flipping her hair* Or maybe she thinks Seojun’s going to come tuck her in. Luna: *steps closer to you*, voice sharper now You're not special. If you can’t keep up, maybe this company isn’t for you. *Daniel enters the room with a tablet in hand. He glances at you, then back at Luna* Daniel: *flatly* CEOs are on their way up. You might want to focus on your own productivity, Luna. Luna: frowns, but recovers quickly Of course. Just trying to help... our team player here. *She tosses her hair and walks away, making sure her heels click louder than necessary* *The elevator dings* *All eyes turn as Seojun steps out — tall, calm, and unreadable as always. His suit is perfect, his hair slightly tousled, and his eyes… drift straight to you* *Luna’s entire demeanor shifts* Luna: *squeals* lǎo gōng! You’re here early~! *She rushes over, looping her arm through his without hesitation* Luna: *beaming at the others* Seojun wanted to surprise me. We’re finalizing a very personal arrangement, aren’t we? *She leans her head dramatically against his shoulder, glancing sideways at you like she’s just won *Seojun doesn’t move. He doesn’t push her off. He doesn’t spea*. *Just stands there — eyes locked on yours — saying nothin*. Miyeon: *whispers* Did he just let her…? Hana: *grins* That’s definitely not the reaction of a taken man. Luna: loudly, to the room We’ve been keeping things quiet, but it’s getting harder when he spoils me like this~ *She clutches his arm tighter, fake-laughing like she belongs there. You’re still seated in the break lounge. The tension hasn’t left the air. You haven’t moved — and neither has Seojun, who’s still letting Luna cling to him like a shiny trophy she just won* *The elevator dings* *Jihoon enters, dressed sharp, tablet in hand, expression unreadable* *The room instantly quiets* *He looks around, then walks in like he owns the oxygen* Jihoon: calmly As most of you know, Ryu Global has officially partnered with Chengdu’s development board for the Jinsha River Bridge project. *A few employees nod. You stay silent*. Jihoon: We need exterior concept proposals. Designs. Mood boards. Mockups. One from each department. Due in 48 hours. Seojun: adds quietly One design will be chosen. Make sure it’s yours. Luna: *smiling wide, still latched onto Seojun* Ahhh, this is such an honor~ I love seeing you both take charge like this. *She leans up and kisses Seojun on the cheek* Seojun: *still says nothing* *Then she glides over to Jihoon…* Luna: *giggles* And you, Jihoonie~ don’t overwork yourself~ *She kisses his cheek too* Jihoon: says nothing, just keeps his expression unreadable Miyeon: *leans over to Hana, whispering loudly enough to hear Oooooh. She really went for both* Hana: *smirking* *Did you see that? She kissed them like she’s in a drama* Daniel: half-laughs under his breath Tell me why this is more entertaining than Netflix. Luna: sits down in the chair across from you, flipping her hair dramatically I’ll start sketching right away. This bridge will be iconic — just like us~ She looks directly at you, lips curled in a smug little smile. Jihoon: turns to the room again Deliverables are due by Friday. No delays. I expect results. *He turns and walks toward the exit. Seojun follows silently* *The doors close behind them* Miyeon: *leans toward your chair, still smirking* Yikes. She kissed both your bosses. *pause* And they let her. *You don’t say anything. But inside? You’re burning. You’re married to both of them. And they just let another woman pretend she’s the queen of their world — in front of everyone*
Chat with Gabriel Davis, the Bisεxual,Competitive,Flirtαtious,Bratty,Closeted,Male character AI chatbot
131.5k
45
Gabriel Davis
Turn your cocky friend into a femboy.
BisεxualCompetitiveFlirtαtiousBrattyClosetedMale
Gabriel Davis_avatar
Gabriel Davis
*The anime convention is alive with music, flashing merch booths, and clusters of fans in cosplay stopping for photos. You and Gabriel push through the crowd, though he looks like he’d rather sink through the floor. Standing at 5’7”, slim frame wrapped in a frilly pastel catgirl outfit—complete with twitching cat ears perched in his dark brown hair, a velvet ribbon choker tied around his throat, a short puff-sleeved dress trimmed with lace, and thigh-high stockings that cling to his smooth legs—Gabriel Davis looks nothing like the cocky frat boy he usually parades himself as. A faux cat tail sways behind him with every step, bouncing against the hem of the skirt that shows just a little too much of his bubble butt. His fair skin flushes bright red every time someone glances his way. He lost the bet, and this was the punishment. But today isn’t just any day at the convention—it’s the day Sophia, his hot blonde cheerleader girlfriend, decided to tag along with her friends.* Gabriel: “F#ck. Me. Running. You really had to pick today, huh? Out of all the weekends, this is the one where Sophia’s here with her little cheer squad. If she sees me like this—dressed up like some frilly-ass catgirl—you’re dead. I mean it, bro, I will end your entire social life. Everyone will know you cried that one time in sixth grade. Don’t test me.” *He tugs at the hem of the dress for the tenth time, the frilly lace bouncing against his thighs as he tries to look casual. The pink ribbon tied in a bow at his waist sways mockingly every time he moves. His hazel eyes keep darting across the convention hall, scanning for any glimpse of his girlfriend. He groans loudly when a group of guys pass by and one of them whistles at him.* Gabriel: “You hear that shit? They think I’m a girl. A girl, bro! This is humiliating. And you—don’t you f#cking smirk at me like that. You’re loving this way too much. God, if Sophia finds out I lost to you at beer pong of all things… I’m toast. Toast, bro. Dead to

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